THE POWER OF SAYING NO!
Relationships are a part of our daily lives; it could be family, friends, intimate relationships, relationships in a work place or school just to mention a few. Maintaining healthy relations requires effort from all parties involved and today I want us to discuss the danger of not setting boundaries in our relationships.
What is a boundary?
A boundary is a line that marks where one thing ends and another begins. Therefore, personal boundaries are limits that an individual creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for others to behave toward them. These boundaries help each person figure out where one person ends and the other begins.
1. Mental - Freedom to have your own thoughts, values & opinions
'Are you able to voice out your opinion if you disagree with others' perspectives?'
2. Emotional - How emotionally available are you to others
'Are you able to turn-down others if you do not have the emotional capacity to support them?'
3. Materia - Monetary decisions, giving or lending to others
'Are you able to say NO?'
4. Internal - Self-regulations, energy expended on self vs others
'Are you able to take time out if you have been social and have some time to yourself?'
5. Conversational - Topics that you do & do not feel comfortable discussing
'Are you able to walk away from a conversation it it makes you uncomfortable?'
6. Physical - Privacy, personal space, your body
'Are you able to draw a clear line & state your preferences?'
7. Time - How much time you spend with someone or doing something
'I can only stay for 30 min.'
THE DANGER OF NOT SETTING BOUDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS
Setting healthy boundaries is of great importance in all relationships as they help us take care of ourselves by giving us permission to say NO to things, to not take everything on. Boundaries help us draw a clear line around what is OK for us and what is not. If someone crosses this line, we need to take care of ourselves by letting them know that they have overstepped their boundary and making this line much clearer.
What is a boundary?
A boundary is a line that marks where one thing ends and another begins. Therefore, personal boundaries are limits that an individual creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for others to behave toward them. These boundaries help each person figure out where one person ends and the other begins.
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| Limit in a relationship |
Types of boundaries
1. Mental - Freedom to have your own thoughts, values & opinions
'Are you able to voice out your opinion if you disagree with others' perspectives?'
2. Emotional - How emotionally available are you to others
'Are you able to turn-down others if you do not have the emotional capacity to support them?'
3. Materia - Monetary decisions, giving or lending to others
'Are you able to say NO?'
4. Internal - Self-regulations, energy expended on self vs others
'Are you able to take time out if you have been social and have some time to yourself?'
5. Conversational - Topics that you do & do not feel comfortable discussing
'Are you able to walk away from a conversation it it makes you uncomfortable?'
6. Physical - Privacy, personal space, your body
'Are you able to draw a clear line & state your preferences?'
7. Time - How much time you spend with someone or doing something
'I can only stay for 30 min.'
THE DANGER OF NOT SETTING BOUDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS
Without boundaries one can feel:
- depleted
- taken advantage of
- taken for granted or
- intruded upon
The aforementioned can lead to:
Resentment
Hurt
Anger
Burnout
Depression
SUMMARY
- depleted
- taken advantage of
- taken for granted or
- intruded upon
The aforementioned can lead to:
Resentment
Hurt
Anger
Burnout
Depression
SUMMARY
Setting healthy boundaries is of great importance in all relationships as they help us take care of ourselves by giving us permission to say NO to things, to not take everything on. Boundaries help us draw a clear line around what is OK for us and what is not. If someone crosses this line, we need to take care of ourselves by letting them know that they have overstepped their boundary and making this line much clearer.
True🫶
ReplyDeleteSetting boundaries even help us know when to leave a certain group rather than just going with the flow even though they are over stepping your toes
This is so insightful, i love this as someone who has a problem with setting clear boundaries. Bravoooo👏👏❤
ReplyDeleteThank you. You need to start setting those boundaries, the great thing is, you are not just doing it for others but primarily for yourself & own sanity.
DeleteThis is exactly what I needed, thank you 🫶🏽
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome ♥
DeleteThis is interesting and very important, setting boundaries is indeed important. Thank you so much for sharing this important information with us this is exactly what we needed!
ReplyDeleteHmmm,I needed to read this,I'm so open minded now
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ReplyDeleteTrue. In relationships/ friendships we tend to get close to each other that we forget that about individuality. There are certain borders you can't cross regardless of the relation and people take offense and they shouldn't
ReplyDeleteTrue, but I also believe that some no's should be ushered by the professionals.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by professionals?
ReplyDeleteWe often dread to draw a line owing to the fear of losing people and that is so wrong.
ReplyDeleteIt's so wrong in all levels because failure to draw boundaries leads to destruction.
DeleteI am so glad that someone has finally talked about the importance of setting boundaries. The best part is that it saves you from a lot of things like being taken advantage of
ReplyDeleteThis is very important, we often find ourselves in hot waters because we are afraid of saying No only because we are afraid of hurting people even if we don't like whatever is happening
ReplyDeleteAnd it's so wrong, we need to be selfish and put ourselves first.
DeleteBoundaries do help a lot since we tend to disrespect each other when we get too comfortable
ReplyDeleteHow I wish someone can hear this, anyway this is explicit
ReplyDeleteBut honestly sometimes you feel like setting boundaries pushes your partner away instead of balancing things in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteBut you honestly need to stand your ground, for your own sanity's sake
DeleteWe need to protect our energy and boundaries truly is a great way to do that.
ReplyDeleteHmm. I'm learning a lot. I love this content. One must set boundaries
ReplyDeleteReading this has just made me realize one of my biggest weaknesses , Materia boundaries...how do I say No to people really close to me? I sometimes even sacrifice for their sake
ReplyDeleteThat's true. As a person you have to have boundaries even though some people might not understand them, it's totally okay. Do it for you not them
ReplyDelete